Monkey Puzzle Tree ©Lynne Buchanan
All Rights Reserved, Watermarked by Digimarc
Sometimes life seems like a big puzzle. We do so many different things and try on so many roles, each one seemingly disparate or so we often think at the time. I worked in the art world in Washington, D.C. and New York City. Then I raised three children, the last of whom is leaving home at the end of next month, I also studied and taught writing, and in my free time I ran marathons and did triathlons. Now I teach yoga, am a photographer, and do volunteer work in the hopes of preserving our environment for my children's children. While I was learning these roles, I was totally focused on each one. It seemed I did one thing and then another, like I was changing the channel on the television set I rarely watch. It made me wonder who, if anyone, was really behind all these roles, and if I would ever progress enough in any one area for my efforts to amount to anything. I was envious of people like my middle son, who seemed to know exactly what he wanted to do while he was still in high school and has deviated only slightly, from physics to higher level math.
Lately, I have realized that comparing myself to people and seeing myself as a lesser being was just one of my ego's ploys to get me to stop stepping out of my comfort zone in order to pursue my dreams. We can't ever really compare ourselves with anyone else because we all have different experiences that help shape our unique natures, and no one can ever be better than we are in being ourselves. I am also starting to realize that although I thought nothing I pursued related to anything else I did, my life is actually coming together. As we start our journey, our steps are tentative and our understanding of who we are beneath all these facades is unclear. At first we just notice isolated synchronicities, but then they occur more and more as long as we remain open to following our paths and don't get stuck along the way. The more we grow, the more our fundamental nature begins to crystalize and the more clearly we are able to envision how we can live best, celebrating our individuality yet recognizing that we are part of a web of life that is of equal value to our own existence.